Friday

I had a weird thought today, who will I be, when I lose all the weight that I want to lose.

This is the first diet that I feel like I can stick with it long term.  It has only been a month, but there is something different about this time.  As I was walking around the office today, I felt like my pants and T-shirt were just giant on me.  It got me thinking about the future.  If I buy new clothes, what style do I go with?  As a fat guy, you buy what fits, not what you really want.

For those who haven’t been outside of the “normal” sizes, I would normally go up to a rack of the kind of clothes I want.  Pants, shirts, or what not, and look for the size that I needed.  Normally the selection is small(ironically), and often the quality is shit.  Stores must think that fat people have no desire to look like everyone else, they think we opt to look like a clown.  I have seen orange pants and I mean like a traffic cone.  I have seen things with patterns that no one would use on their couch.

Back to the original point, who will I be.  Even more importantly than clothes, there is a lot of my identity wrapped up in being fat.  I have been the funny (at least I try to be) fat guy.  It isn’t the best option if you have a list to pick from, but it was what I had.  So I don’t think I am going to find an answer for this anytime soon, but it is worth a think.  Getting out in front of this may be what makes this weight lose stick.  How many people just slip back into normal patterns after they do all the hard work to lose a bunch of weight, because they don’t know how to live as a slim person?

Maybe I will find a sport or activity that will make it easy to stay with anything that I lose.  This part is to be continued…image

Qdoba for lunch.

image

The last of the lentil soup, chicken sausage from whole foods (which were not good), and a salad.

Now on to the weigh in and cheat day tomorrow.

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One Response

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I have thought the same thing many, many times when I start to lose weight. I think it actually scares me to think I might have an identity crisis. I identify with being the “funny fat girl” because that is how I think people see me. But these days, all I want is to feel better in my body and to not let my weight make so many of my decisions for me. I’m tired of being in pain in my joints and being tired all the tiem.
    I am enjoying following you on your journey and have started one of my own and have lost 8 pounds so far. I will keep reading your blog and trying not to sabotage myself.
    Thanks for sharing, my friend. 🙂

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